Andrew J. Bacevich

Excerpted from Chapter 9 of NOT EVEN PAST: How the United States Ends Wars edited by David Fitzgerald, David Ryan, and John M. Thompson.

A successful marriage is one in which partners find ways of reconciling their own individual needs with those they share as a couple. The challenge is to enable me and you to coexist with us in relative harmony. To indulge in wedding day illusions of being exempt from such challenges—to fancy that a new us transcends me and you—is to guarantee mutual disappointment. The sooner all parties jettison such illusions the better.

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